Can I Have It All Page 7

  DON’T MISUSE THE GOODWILL

  For talent valued by any organisation, usually organisations have interventions to ensure that they are appropriately recognised and rewarded. There are development and retention strategies with exit barriers in place to ensure these high performing and high potential employees stay with the firm for a longer period. To get this attention, employees need to make themselves valuable by making key contributions, displaying commitment, and keeping themselves relevant to the context.

  In cases of women struggling to balance work and family responsibilities, many organisations are rising up to the challenge by providing flexibility, undertaking the sensitisation journey, and re-skilling women. The expectation is of reciprocation from women employees through their commitment to themselves and to their career. This is a journey which is underway and by no means have we really reached the destination. Keeping up with the optimism, it seems that the steps are in the right direction, but issues tend to erupt sometimes when this trust and effort is not reciprocated. These situations maybe few, however, they are important to highlight as such incidents do put us a few steps behind.

  Such is the case of Sylvia*, a mid-level employee, who had recently been moved to a larger assignment. Being a good performer, she was well-looked after in terms of good roles and rewards. About six months after performing a large client-facing role, she apprised her manager that she was expecting a baby, which was wonderful news. She remained engaged with her work, however due to her doctor’s advice she requested flexibility to work from home for a few days every week in her last trimester. Sylvia’s manager completely understood the validity of the request and granted her permission right away. Just a month before her delivery, she again requested that her privilege leave be clubbed with her six-months of maternity leave, which meant she would be out from work for approximately seven months. Again, this was approved as her seniors realised that being a first-time mother she was yet to get comfortable with motherhood and work being managed together. Happy with all the approvals, she proceeded on leave. Time went by. As agreed with Sylvia, and also given the fact that she had spent less than a year in her role prior to her maternity leave, the role was kept vacant for her return.

  Finally, a month away from joining back from maternity, she contacted her manager and Human Resources, thanking them for all the support. However, to everyone’s surprise, she also requested a role change! For a moment the manager felt that the request was due to her need for flexibility and sort of valid. But before he could consider the request and discuss the possible flexible work options in the same role, came another message. Sylvia intimated him that continuing would not be an option as she felt that she had been performing the same role for eighteen months. Technically, it was incorrect as she had been away for seven of those eighteen months. Since her role, an important one, was yet vacant and being managed by another employee in addition to his/her own job, it was agreed upon that Sylvia would return to the role while the manager is given a few months to look for an alternate role and also find another incumbent for her existing job. This was amicably agreed by all. She assured all the stakeholders of her commitment and signed up to her goals with a clear discussion on her promotion being considered at the year-end, irrespective.

  Within a month or two of joining, Sylvia was promoted to the next level as had been one of her requests, before she stepped back into her current role. This was done in anticipation of performance and as a retention gesture, even though that year her manager had struggled to get the promotion through as there were pressures on expense and numbers. But so far so good!

  As luck would have it, she was back in the room with her manager few weeks after the promotion and this time with her resignation letter. The manager was taken aback, having tried his best to support and retain a good performer. He truly struggled to understand what drove this decision and how it could have been averted. However, his frustration soon turned into disappointment. It seemed that Sylvia had traded the new promotion and compensation with another company for a similar role. The manager was left wondering if the system was leveraged inappropriately, despite all the considerations to support a young mother’s career. With no more retention-related conversations, Sylvia was relieved of her duties immediately. However from a manager’s and an organisation’s perspective a lot of questions were left unanswered – did the organisation miss anything? Could the manager have done something to help her any further? Was this the right act on the employee’s part? We all look for better jobs with better money but where does good stand?

  The perplexed manager understood that one such incident is not reflective of a generic behaviour and he continued to be aligned to the organisation’s intent towards providing support and flexibility for new mothers. However, given people in the department had witnessed the situation as well, there was a state of confusion within the team about what was permissible in such situations. Frank and candid conversations were held with the team and they were made to understand that this was an isolated case. All these efforts were also important to ensure that this incident did not impact chances for another young mother seeking support or flexibility.

  We all know that past experiences do impact human behaviour in moving forward! Hence, it is important for women to manage situations as cited above, responsibly and professionally to not leave any unpleasant feelings behind. It undoes a lot of effort put in sensitising indivdiuals towards such situations. I am not implying that Sylvia should not have made the career change, but if she had been seeking the change prior to her promotion (given she resigned within a few weeks after), then somewhere she needed to manage the environment better by managing expectations. Being clearer on her preferences about where she wanted to work would have helped her manage the current company environment. My advice is that when one walks out of a firm, one should always leave that door open behind them… We always build/have a lot of equity where we have spent a few years and that is for keeps! You never know when you cross paths with them again.

  I recall another incident which had a similar learning. This was while we were hiring for a sales team, which had traditionally been lower on gender diversity. It was a business development role entailing a fair amount of travel. Hence it had been difficult to find enough women prospects in the past as well. This time, with a conscious effort to improve diversity within the team, the search firms were given guidelines to help us with this agenda. The hiring would be on the basis of merit. Finally, a very qualified woman candidate, Tara*, with relevant work experience was shortlisted. Post-completion of the selection process, we extended a fairly competitive offer to ensure the candidate was on board. Tara accepted the offer and joined us after a month’s notice period to her previous organisation. About two weeks later, I received a call from her rather unsettled manager. He told me that Tara, had just shared with him that she was four-months pregnant and would like to proceed on an early maternity leave soon, which would be leave for six (or more) months. Also, in her current state, she was unable to travel and she might need a change of role on her return. He was confused as the job specifications were discussed clearly with the candidate, at the time of hiring, about eight weeks back. On further probing by the HR Manager, the candidate shared that during recruitment, she was keen to get hired with the firm and then look at alternate roles.

  From the manager’s perspective, Tara was a great talent and knowing her intentions and ‘no-travel’ requirement (irrespective of the reasons), he might have yet taken the same decision of hiring her for the firm. He would have hired her for an alternate role that suited her and met her needs within the organisation at the onset. But now, having announced her as the new sales head to the clients, he was in a really awkward position that affected the team and the business, leave alone the need to find her an alternate role suiting her needs.

  A tough scenario. But who was right? The manager or the concerned employee? Tara got the job but lost the relationship and the trust, which was now g
oing to take longer to rebuild. She did proceed on leave and as requested by her, she was placed in another role on her return while another person moved in the Business Development/Sales role to provide clients the needed support. The firm lost business and the team had to again re-orient with the new managers. This situation needed to commence on an honest foundation for it to work for all.

  Reflecting back, I’d say this was a real dilemma. It may have been prudent for Tara as well to gauge the demands of the role vis-à-vis what she was able to do before arriving at a final decision of taking up the offer. She was very competent and would have been hired for a role better suited for her needs through a fair process. With a little more thought, she would have led to stronger and a more meaningful relationship at the onset. Such issues make situations difficult as they may reinforce stereotypes even though the organisation has policies and procedures to deal with this appropriately. It is also contingent on us women to be upfront and deal with such conflicts in a way that it is a win-win!

  MOVING FORWARD

  No one situation or choice can be or should be generalised. We need to be respectful of each individual’s choices as everyone has his or her own priorities, be it at home or at work, or elsewhere. At work, I do see a rising amount of awareness and an effort on part of various organisations to focus on support systems for women. Flexibility, maternity policies over and above the statutory requirements, crèches/child care support and so on… are taking root in the industry and it will take a few more years for this to spread more widely. This journey is relatively new and yet underway, though I think we are headed in the right direction. For the right talent who contribute and add value, I see a growing number of organisations willing to bend backwards to retain them and work around their needs to manage work and family. Like for any other employee, if women want to seriously pursue their careers, then it is contingent on them to be committed and tenacious when faced with multiple demands. It is not always easy; however, it is neither easy for our male colleagues and they may have different challenges. My only request to all is to not give up without trying!

  SUMMARY

  Our choices reflect the kind of person we are. Ultimately it is not about being right or wrong but what you want and what gives you a sense of fulfilment and achievement, driven completely by your priorities. Many women, especially when they embark on their three ‘M’s – Marriage, Mobility, and Maternity, get caught on the horns of a dilemma. This takes a bigger toll on them rather than the attempt of executing their choice would. Without the fear of failure, just evaluate what you treasure more and take the plunge. But keeping in mind the following steps might help you along the way:

  – Being a mother or a professional, or both, is an individual’s choice driven completely by respective circumstances. Nothing is better than the other. It all depends on what makes you happy, Choose for yourself and give it your best.

  Once decided to manage work and family, be open to seek help in making your choice a success. You may be surprised to see how organisations, managers, or even your own support system will be there to assist you in the attempt to make it happen – you have to take the decision and drive it first.

  – Finally, foster a trusting relationship with your employer. Remain clear in your conscience and respect all the help that others extend. Go through your pursuit with authenticity and focus. Appreciate the efforts that others around you make to ensure it all works for you both personally and professionally …because, that also reflects a choice and the kind of person you get viewed and treated as.

  * name changed for protecting privacy

  4 COURAGE

  to explore the road less travelled

  COURAGE

  ‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts’ – Winston Churchill

  DEMANDS OF THE NEW WORLD

  Corporate Jungle – Survival of the Fittest or Survival of the Savviest?

  In some ways, the corporate world still remains a jungle. One encounters all kinds of people: pack leaders, followers, some who stick to their set roles and patterns, and others who are willing to test the boundaries to take on predators. The management capabilities continue to evolve in a constantly changing environment leading to an increasing demand for more intense engagement at work. We are required to be agile, responsive, adaptive, and flex our styles to the multiple challenges thrown at us. All this puts a lot of stress on our softer skills. How quickly we imbibe this versatility, becomes critical to thriving in the long run. Competition at work often leads to politics. Politics may lead to setting agenda and one can be easily victimised by this process. As the pyramid narrows and race to leadership gets tougher, your competitors may look for the slightest pretext to pull you down, including your gender, the way you manage or behave.

  Climbing the corporate ladder is equally tough for men and women. There is less space at the top, competition is rife, and technical capabilities are abundant. Hence, more often than not the softer people-skills become the differentiator in this competitive environment. I have been fortunate enough to work with some very inspirational and driven individuals who understood this early in their career and imbibed these softer skills adeptly and timely, that was necessary for their growth and managing transition. Their learning was on an ever-rising continuum. It was their ability to be visionaries that helped achieve great results. As they undertook this journey, I saw that it took a lot of courage and inner strength to continue the climb because as it got steeper, the risk was higher and the path ahead, unclear. Many a shark was waiting for them to fall in the sea of darkness beneath.

  In a post, published by Dan Goleman, Ph.D. on Apr 29, 2011 in The Brain and Emotional Intelligence – Are Women More Emotionally Intelligent Than Men?’, he states that, ‘There are many tests of emotional intelligence, and most seem to show that women tend to have an edge over men when it comes to these “soft” skills for a happy and successful life. That edge may matter more than ever at the workplace, as more companies are starting to recognise the advantages of high EI when it comes to positions like sales, teams and leadership.’

  If you review the above demand for softer skills, I find that women are usually better placed as they are brought up to always be more adaptable to changes. It is all about how we define the purpose, plan the path and focus on work that is aligned to peoples’ needs rather than just business targets.

  Be it demands at work, competition with peers, or leveraging technical or people skills, it is driven by the belief in one’s dreams and having the passion to fulfil them. Coupled with some skills or higher EQ that women may have more of, or a different perspective they may add in the board room, the impact of this is finally contingent on their courage to pursue this chosen path. Courage may have different facets encompassing taking charge, taking conflicts headlong, taking risks, stepping up your game, pushing the boundaries against all odds! The consistent pattern among all facets is a reinforcement of your beliefs that creates the magic to keep going on. I too have had my ups and downs but the courage of my convictions did not let me down. Lets review these facets…

  TAKING CHARGE

  At a basic level, we work for a living and our companies reward us for our contributions. However, most of us also derive a larger self-identity from our work. Whether right or wrong, it becomes an integral part of our lives. Some indivudals may be unsure and coast along, in such cases life takes over and gives you a plan, especially if you have none. We call it our destiny and may sometimes relinquish control of things that can be detrimental of our identity. It takes a significant amount of courage to actually make conscious choices along each step, do everything that it takes to honour those and shape who we are.

  I am agnostic about how and to what degree various individuals prefer to do this. However, for me, taking charge of self has been a clear driver in the way I have gone about my career. Through my various assignments in India or overseas, most choices of roles, locations, managers or te
ams were solely my choices. Whether to work through a tough family phase or to move into a new assignment, it was always a thought out decision. Of course, it needs to align with the needs of the organisation and grounded in your reality, but nobody knows you better than yourself! You need to have the strength to back yourself, before the organisation can have the courage to stand behind you. This belief in self has instilled a sense of responsibility and self-reliance in me. Sometimes I got it right and sometimes I did not. But there have been no regrets. Instead, my learning cart has overflowed with a bounty of experiences which I will treasure forever. My mantra has been to not depend on things to take shape by destiny. Success comes to those who work for it. We must keep reassessing and align if need be, but never lose sight!

  DEALING WITH ISSUES HEAD-ON

  Very early in my career, I realised that dealing with issues head-on is important. While our work speaks for itself, in times of conflicts choosing to take a back-seat and being silent is not an option.